Divorce can be one of the most emotionally challenging experiences anyone goes through. It often feels like someone died, the loss of something we once held dear, and this can stir up feelings of grief.
The emotional rollercoaster of divorce is real, and it’s completely normal to feel lost, confused, and overwhelmed. Grief doesn’t always have to do with losing a loved one—it also happens when you lose a relationship, a home, or even a life you once knew.
At Jones Law Firm, PC, we’ve walked alongside many families facing divorce for over 30 years.
We know just how tough this process can be, and while the legal side is important, we also understand the emotional toll divorce can take. Today, let’s talk about something that often gets overlooked during divorce: the five stages of grief.
The 5 Stages of Grief in Divorce
You’ve likely heard about the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. While these stages were initially designed to help us understand how we grieve the loss of a loved one, they also apply to divorce.
It’s not a neat, linear journey—grief is messy, and so is healing. Let’s walk through each stage and explore how it ties into the divorce process.
Denial
Denial is your mind’s way of protecting you from an undesirable reality. During a divorce, denial may look like refusing to believe it’s happening or telling yourself, “It’s just a phase.
We’ll get through it.” You may keep hoping that things will magically fix themselves or downplay the situation, going through the motions on autopilot.
From a legal perspective, denial can delay decisions that need to be made. People might avoid paperwork or refuse to leave a shared home, holding on to the belief that this separation isn’t permanent.
If you notice this happening, it’s important to find support—whether from friends, family, or a therapist—to help you recognize the reality of the situation.
The sooner you confront the truth, the better equipped you’ll be to handle the legal and emotional challenges ahead.
Anger
After denial, anger usually follows. You might feel angry at your spouse, at yourself, or even at life for how things turned out. This can be a tough stage because anger can cloud your judgment, especially when making important legal decisions like property division and child custody.
Anger can lead to impulsive decisions—ones that might escalate conflicts rather than resolve them. If you’re struggling with anger during your divorce, it’s crucial to find healthy outlets, whether it’s exercising, journaling, or talking to a therapist.
Don’t let your anger take control, especially when it comes to making decisions that will affect your future.
Bargaining
Bargaining is the “what if” stage. You might start thinking about all the ways you could have fixed the marriage. Maybe you start making promises—“If only we can try one more time, things will be different.”
This stage can also play out in legal negotiations, where you may find yourself agreeing to unfair terms or settling out of fear, hoping for some sort of reconciliation.
The problem with bargaining is that it can delay your acceptance of the situation.
Clinging to false hope prevents you from moving forward, and in legal terms, it can also make you agree to things that may not be in your best interest. Recognizing when you’re bargaining with yourself or others is an important step toward healing.
Depression
Depression during divorce can feel like a heavy weight of sadness and hopelessness. It’s truly more than just a bad day—it’s an overwhelming sense of loss and helplessness.
You might feel a lack of motivation or interest in daily activities, and it can be hard to focus on anything, including the legal aspects of your divorce.
This stage may come with changes in appetite or sleep, difficulty concentrating, or just a general feeling of being overwhelmed.
If you find yourself struggling to keep up with the necessary tasks, it’s okay to ask for help. Whether it’s a friend, family member, or professional support, reaching out can make all the difference.
You don’t have to go through this alone, and there’s no shame in needing a little extra support to get through this period.
Acceptance
Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re thrilled about the divorce, but it does mean you’ve come to terms with it. This is the stage where you begin to focus on the future and think about new goals and possibilities. It’s the first step toward building a new chapter in your life.
Legally speaking, acceptance allows you to approach the proceedings more constructively. You’re no longer weighed down by the emotional turmoil of the earlier stages, which makes it easier to focus on what really matters—your long-term well-being.
Acceptance opens the door to moving on, and while it doesn’t erase the pain, it does make room for growth and a new beginning.
How Long Does Divorce Grief Last?
Divorce grief doesn’t follow a set timeline, and each person’s journey through it is unique. For some, the process may last a few months, while for others, it could take years to fully heal. The important thing is to go at your own pace and allow yourself time to heal.
The stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—are not linear, and it’s common to move back and forth between them.
Several factors influence the duration of grief. The nature of the relationship plays a major role; if the divorce was unexpected, the emotional impact might be greater than if it had been long anticipated.
Those who actively process their emotions, such as by seeking therapy or talking to loved ones, tend to move through the stages of grief more steadily. Suppressing emotions, however, can lead to feeling stuck in one stage, prolonging the overall process.
Divorce often involves other significant losses, like custody of children, financial security, or a home, which can add to the emotional burden. The more losses involved, the longer it may take to heal.
Finally, having a strong support system of friends, family, or professionals can make it easier to go through grief. Those who feel isolated may find the process more difficult and prolonged.
How to Go Through the Divorce Stages
The stages of grief don’t happen in a straight line—you might bounce between them, and that’s completely normal. Everyone grieves differently, and there is no “right” way to feel.
Take care of yourself—whether it’s by seeking therapy, exercising, or simply spending time doing things that make you feel good. Healing takes time, and that’s okay.
Need Help With Your Divorce in Colorado? Contact Jones Law Firm
At Jones Law Firm, PC, we understand that divorce is not just a legal process—it’s an emotional one too. With over 30 years of experience, we’re here to guide you through every step of the way.
Our team of compassionate attorneys is ready to support you during this difficult time. Contact us at 720-513-5983 to schedule a confidential consultation today. Let us help you move forward with confidence.
