When going through a divorce, child custody is often one of the toughest things to deal with. One question that frequently comes up for parents in Colorado is at what age their child can decide which parent to live with.
Many believe that once a child reaches a certain age, their preference automatically dictates custody, but this is simply not true.
At Jones Law Firm, PC, we’ve guided families through these sensitive matters for over 30 years, handling more than 3,500 cases that each brought its own set of challenges.
When it comes to a child’s preference in custody decisions, Colorado law doesn’t set a specific age where their wishes become the deciding factor.
Instead, the court carefully considers many factors to ensure that the arrangement is truly in the child’s best interests.
The General Rule of Thumb
Contrary to what some may believe, Colorado law doesn’t set a fixed age for a child to choose which parent they want to live with. This decision is not purely in the hands of the child, no matter their age.
Every custody case is different, and judges make their decisions based on a wide variety of factors. While a child’s wishes might be taken into account, the overall goal is to prioritize what is in the child’s best interest.
So, while a 16-year-old might have more say in where they live than a 6-year-old, it’s not as simple as the child saying, “I want to live with mom or dad,” and the court agrees.
Colorado courts are primarily concerned with ensuring that the child’s well-being, stability, and best interests are served, even if that means ruling against the child’s preference in some cases.
Determining the Best Interests of the Child
At the heart of every child custody case is the concept of the “best interests of the child.” Colorado courts look at several things to figure out what’s best for the child.
Some of these factors include:
- Each parent’s preferences and their ability to care for the child
- The child’s relationships with both parents, siblings, and extended family
- How well the child is adjusting to their home, school, and community
- The mental and physical health of everyone involved
- Any history of abuse, neglect, or domestic violence
- Each parent’s ability to support the child’s relationship with the other parent
- Whether either parent has been more involved in the child’s day-to-day life
In short, the court’s primary concern is to create a living situation that promotes stability, safety, and happiness for the child.
Considering the Child’s Wishes
While Colorado doesn’t assign a strict age limit for children to make their own custody decisions. The court will take the child’s wishes into account, but it all depends on how mature the child is. Here’s how a child’s preferences might be weighed based on their age:
Age 5
At this age, children are generally too young to have their preferences taken into account. Exceptions might occur in cases involving abuse or trauma, but typically, a child this young doesn’t have the maturity to make this kind of decision.
Age 10
By this age, children may be better able to articulate their thoughts and feelings, but the court will still prioritize other factors over the child’s expressed wishes.
The child’s relationship with each parent and their overall well-being will weigh more heavily in the court’s decision.
Age 14
Older children, particularly those around 14, are often considered mature enough to have their preferences seriously considered. The court will listen to their wishes, but again, the decision will ultimately revolve around the child’s best interests.
Age 16
At this age, a child’s opinion is typically given more weight. However, even if a teenager expresses a desire to live with one parent, the court might still rule otherwise if it’s determined that the choice wouldn’t serve their best interests.
Communicating the Child’s Wishes to the Court
If a child’s preference is to be considered, there are a few ways the child’s wishes can be shared with the court. In most cases, children don’t testify in court to avoid stress. Instead, the court might talk to the child privately or rely on reports from child therapists or any one of the following:
- Interviews with the judge: These are often conducted privately, in the judge’s chambers.
- Child legal representatives: These can be attorneys or guardians ad litem who represent the child’s interests.
- Reports from child therapists or custody evaluators: These professionals can offer insight into the child’s emotional and mental state.
How Much Influence Does a Child’s Preference Carry?
A child’s preference in custody cases can indeed carry significant weight, but it’s not the sole deciding factor. The influence of their wishes depends on various aspects, particularly their ability to express a reasoned and independent choice.
Judges want to know if the child’s decision is based on clear, independent thinking or if they’ve been influenced by one parent.
The maturity of the child is critical—courts look for children who can articulate their desires in a way that shows thoughtful consideration of their living situation.
Judges also evaluate the child’s overall intelligence and emotional development when weighing their preferences. A child who demonstrates good reasoning skills and maturity is likely to have their opinion taken more seriously.
However, courts are cautious about the possibility of parental influence, especially in high-conflict situations.
If it appears that a child’s choice may have been shaped by manipulation or pressure from one parent, the court is less likely to give that preference much weight.
Can a Child’s Wishes Change a Court Order?
A child’s desire to live with the other parent, while important, isn’t enough on its own to modify an existing custody order.
There has to be a major change in the child’s situation, like safety concerns or a parent no longer being able to care for them, for the court to reconsider custody.
For example, if the child’s current living situation is no longer safe or stable, or if the parent they are living with is experiencing a serious decline in their ability to care for the child, these could be reasons to consider a modification.
Simply put, the court must see clear evidence that the child’s well-being is at risk or that their current situation no longer serves their best interests.
The child’s expressed wishes will be taken into account, but they must be supported by other substantial factors, such as evidence of neglect, abuse, or a major shift in the child’s needs.
In high-conflict custody disputes, the court may also look closely to ensure the child’s preference hasn’t been unduly influenced by one parent.
Custody Orders and Parenting Plans
Custody orders and parenting plans aim to provide the child with a consistent, balanced relationship with both parents. Courts take a child’s wishes into account when drafting these plans, especially as children grow older.
While the child’s wishes are considered, things like a parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs or issues like abuse will always be more important.
Need Help with Child Custody in Colorado? Contact Jones Law Firm Today
At Jones Law Firm, PC, we’re here to help you go through the child custody process with compassion and ease.
Whether you’re just beginning a custody case or seeking a modification, we’ll fight for the best interests of your family. Contact us today at 720-513-5983 for a consultation. We’re committed to helping you and your children move forward.