Divorce can feel like a whirlwind of emotions—grief, anger, confusion, and sometimes, love that lingers in the background. It’s not unusual to find yourself questioning if ending the marriage is the right choice, especially when the reality of separation sets in. You might even consider giving things another shot. So, what happens if you and your ex decide to work things out while a divorce is still in progress? Let’s talk about it.
Can Reconciliation Work During a Divorce?
It’s more common than you might think for couples to reconsider their divorce after filing. Imagine this scenario: you’ve spent weeks or months wrestling with the decision, only to sit down with your spouse and realize there might still be something worth saving. One client recently called and asked, “Is it crazy to think about trying again?” The answer? Not at all. Deciding to work on your marriage shows courage and a willingness to fight for something meaningful.
In Colorado, even the legal system encourages couples to explore reconciliation. Under Colorado Revised Statute 14-10-112(2)(b), courts can hit pause on divorce proceedings for 90 days (and often longer) if both parties want to seek counseling or make an effort to rebuild their relationship. This pause allows time to evaluate whether reconciliation is the right path—or if moving forward with the divorce makes more sense. Making the choice whether to proceed is a decision only you can make, and our team understands how important this choice is for you.
Why do Couples Reconsider Divorce?
Divorce is rarely an easy decision. Many couples reach that point after months, even years, of struggling through unresolved issues. But sometimes, the act of filing for divorce forces both spouses to take a hard look at their relationship and what went wrong, and can be a reality check for each of you This can open the door for honest conversations about whether those problems are fixable.
Common reasons couples give reconciliation a try include:
● A renewed commitment to improve communication.
● Addressing unresolved conflicts, like disagreements over finances or parenting.
● A desire to prioritize family stability for the sake of children.
However, it’s critical to understand that wanting to reconcile isn’t the same as being ready to do the work it takes to heal. Sincere effort and a readiness to adapt must go hand in hand with the desire to make amends. Without doing meaningful work on the relationship’s underlying problems, merely wishing to keep the marriage intact is insufficient. That’s where introspection and honesty come in.
Should You Give Your Marriage Another Chance?
Before making a decision, ask yourself a few tough questions:
Why did we consider divorce in the first place?
Understanding the root causes of your marital struggles is key. Were the issues tied to communication breakdowns, infidelity, or something else? Whatever the cause, you need to confront it directly, otherwise the issues will reoccur
Are we both willing to change?
Reconciliation requires effort from both spouses. That might mean seeking therapy, setting new boundaries, or learning healthier ways to resolve conflict. If only one spouse is willing to commit to working to make the marriage work, the partnership is unlikely to continue.
Do I feel safe and respected in this relationship?
If your marriage involved abuse, manipulation, or neglect, reconciliation might not be the safest or healthiest choice. Protecting yourself and your well-being should always come first.
Seeking professional counseling can help you and your spouse tackle these questions in a supportive environment. Ensuring that you, your child, property, pets, and family are safe is a paramount consideration, and you should call the authorities or discuss pursuing a civil protection order if you are the victim of abuse.
Legal Considerations When Reuniting During a Divorce
If you decide to work on your marriage, you might wonder what happens to the divorce proceedings. In Colorado, you have options:
Pausing the Divorce
The court can grant a continuance, giving you time to see if reconciliation is possible without dismissing the case outright. Couples can request a stay of divorce proceedings that lasts around 90 days. Either spouse can choose to remove the stay and resume the divorce process after this. This is especially useful if you’re unsure about the long-term outcome.
Dismissing the Petition
You can formally withdraw the divorce petition if you’re confident that reconciliation is the right choice. Keep in mind that both parties must agree to this step, and you will not be refunded any fees incurred to file or prepare the pleadings
Exploring a Legal Separation
If you’re hesitant to fully dismiss the divorce, legal separation might be a middle ground. It allows you to maintain financial and legal independence while working on your relationship, or to proceed to divorce if that becomes appropriate.
Consulting a family law attorney during this process is essential. They can guide you through the legal implications and ensure your rights are protected, even while you explore reconciliation.
How Reconciliation Affects Children
If you have kids, their well-being is likely at the center of your decision-making. Reconciliation can bring stability to their lives, but it’s important to approach it thoughtfully. Here are some tips:
● Be Honest but Age-Appropriate: Let your kids know you’re working on things, but avoid making promises about the outcome until you’re certain.
● Focus on Stability: Keep routines consistent and avoid involving children in marital disputes, and avoid discussing the divorce.
● Seek Family Counseling: A therapist can help your kids process their feelings about the changes in your relationship, especially if they have experienced the separation and then reunification of your relationship.
Ultimately, your children will benefit most from seeing their parents communicate respectfully and prioritize the family’s overall health.
Need Help Exploring Your Options?
Whether you’re considering reconciliation or ready to proceed with your divorce, having the right legal guidance makes all the difference. At Jones Law Firm, PC, we’re here to help you get through the emotional and legal challenges of divorce with compassion and clarity. Call us today at 720-741-7119 for a free consultation or visit our website to learn more about how we can support you during this difficult time.
No matter where you are in your journey, you don’t have to go through it alone. Let us stand by your side and help you find the path that’s best for you and your family.