This message comes from a previous client of the Jones Law Firm. She recently emailed us an update of her and her now ex-husbands relationship. She gives a first hand look at how they went from fighting over everything to being civil and “doing what was best for the kids”. You may want to take notes as you read this!
Divorce is never fun and can be downright heartbreaking when there are children in the mix.
My experience in the Colorado family court system was 10 years post-divorce with custody issues on the table. I’ve never felt so threatened before in my life than I did with the prospect of not having my children at least half of the time. And that “half” thing was never in the plans when I said “I do” and when I cried with joy when I saw the positive results of the pregnancy tests.
A decade had passed since our marriage was dissolved. But that battle was nothing compared to the fight over our children. Details aren’t important. Mindset and attitude are everything. I kept reminding myself to “take the high road”. It’s not always easy but it became easier as the process wore on. It became a habit. I focused more on the positive things I was doing rather than any negative actions by the other party.
“In the best interest of the children” is a mantra of the legal system. Take it to heart. I believe it’s obvious to a judge and just about anyone, when you put your best interest and revenge above all else.
In real estate, it’s all “location, location, location”. In court, it’s all “document, document, document”. You have to have more than “he said”, “she said”. A carefully put together account of your positive actions can be worth its weight in gold. April and I spent a lot of time finding and focusing on the positive. Not only what I was doing right, but what the children’s father was also doing right. Maybe, just maybe, he was feeling just as threatened.
It was time to stop pointing fingers and time to find a resolution.I believe this attitude was a huge factor in what the judge decided. With a great attorney, a positive approach and faith in God – everything turned out best for everyone involved.
The most amazing result of all? The kids’ dad and I get along now and actually do a good job of co-parenting. We don’t meet for a latte but when it comes to the kids, our focus is crystal clear. We love them and each of us would do anything for them.
You may want to try that path called the high road. I promise, you won’t get a nose bleed!
-S.H.